Who has it tougher — single moms or dads? While the women may have to struggle to make both ends meet, men find it tougher to meet the children’s emotional needs, says Seema Sinha
Patience is a virtue, and with children, women are more patient. That is where women score over men 100 per cent, there are no two ways about it.
A lot of women earn more than men, but the fact is that more men earn than women and that is how our traditional system works. The working ratio between men and women is around 4:1. Money is a very important aspect when you are taking the responsibility of bringing up a child. Whether it is a child’s education, development, holidays, luxury...money plays a big role. So, whether it is tough for a single mother to raise her child single-handedly depends a lot upon her financial status.
But, there are emotional and psychological factors too that play an important role in the development of a child. For example, my son has three appointments today — he has to meet his dentist, then ophthalmologist and then he has to go for his haircut. Earlier, I wouldn’t even know the dates of these appointments as my wife was hands-on. But, today, I have to fulfill these.
Rina would also take him to the Turf Club at 5 am for horse riding. Once his exam gets over I will have to do that. So, there is more hardwork in store for me. I didn’t know how to run the house, how to file my taxes. I am a very lazy, laidback and spoilt person. But I cannot afford to be spoilt anymore. Now I have to be more responsible because my whole life revolves around my son. I have to be prepared for it.
Life has become difficult to an extent. But, a human being is designed in such a way that you adapt to a situation. You have to find a solution logically rather than getting panicky. I want to do my best for my son.
I am fortunate to have a good support system. My mother is with me. Even my wife’s family is very supportive. She was the youngest of seven, so there are six other siblings, and then these days my sister is also around. It is a mixed bag of advantages and disadvantages.
There is no change in my son’s behaviour pattern. Emotionally, he has been very mature. He will be going abroad on a vacation. His routine follows the same pattern it did when my wife was around.
As for me, I have done 60-odd films, there is a lifestyle connect with Fashion Week, and then I am also developing a brand. I write and am active in environmental issues. I have varied interests which I continue to pursue.