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Friday, April 4, 2008

Trishala With Dad Sanjay Dutt

A letter written by Trishala to Sanjay Dutt
‘Times of India’ {31 July 2007}

Good morning, Dad
Today is a very important day for me. More important than any other day that has shaped my life. Your fate will be decided today. And I feel so helpless because I’m physically away from you at such a crucial time. When I was growing up, I needed you, but you weren’t there.

When my school mates would go on a vacation with their families, I would be left alone, wondering why I was deprived of my father’s love. Now I need you more than I ever did and I know that you need me too. But never mind, Dad, I am next to you always, praying for your wellbeing. I know God will hear my prayers this time.

Dad, I am just so tired of all the trauma that you are going through. When will this ordeal get over? I have full faith in God and the judiciary. They will do justice to you. All these years, I know you have been silently suffering and now you deserve some peace and happiness. I know life is uncertain, but this kind of uncertainty in your life for so long is killing not just you - but the entire family. I feel your punishment is done with, you have suffered enough, and now you need to be set free.

Sunday was your birthday and it pained me to know that you couldn’t enjoy the day as you usually do. I don’t know what present I can give you. Nothing can match my earnest prayers and wishes. Perhaps, I crave for your freedom more than you do. I want to spend more time with you now. August 10 is my birthday, and I wish to spend it with you. That’s my deepest wish and it will be my greatest gift. I want come to India forever and be with you.

I miss you, Dad. I know I talk to you everyday, but I want to be close to you. I have so many things to share with you these days. I love your “dos and don’ts” over the phone. Don’t worry. I won’t do anything to upset you ever. You have been teaching me so many things, but the most important lesson you gave me, is to value money. I am still learning. I know you hate my spendthrift nature. That is one thing, Dad that I am struggling to change. What to do? I am just a 19-year-old girl, and you know we have so many needs. But don’t worry, Dad, I am very obedient as far as other things go. You want me to complete my degree and I am doing fine in that aspect. You’ll be proud of me.

I have one more wish for you, Dad. I don’t want you to get married to anybody. I may sound selfish, but it’s my love that’s speaking. I haven’t ever discussed this with you. I don’t know why, but I have a strong hunch that people use you for the wrong reasons. And you are naive not to understand. But I can see through all the games that women play to win you over. I am a girl, Dad, and I know how to extract anything from a guy. I just have to smile and act like a lost babe in the woods. But I am not one and I know exactly what I want. So please don’t get fooled by these acts. You don’t need any other women in your life now. One woman in your life, and that’s me, is good enough. I will be there with you all the time. I want to move back to Mumbai just to be with you. So please hang on.

But having expressed my deepest desires, I also want you to listen to me only if it makes you happy. I am happy if you are. That’s how my love for you is. I will sacrifice everything for you, Dad I just want to see you happy. You are the ‘bestest’ and the strongest Dad in the world. PS: I love you always. Trish

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